we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Pooping to opera.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
