I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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