Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
