discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
