was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
