Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No subtext here. People are naked.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
