Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
