Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
