We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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