i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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