he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
