mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
