fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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