I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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