its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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