You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
