My room smells like vodka and shame
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
