He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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