what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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