My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
