It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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