Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have aggressive nipples.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
