At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
you never un-have a 4some
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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