She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
