Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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