margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
