Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
