I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
