I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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