chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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