Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
