is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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