I want to walk on stilts...naked
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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