did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
