good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
