i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
