I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
