I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
