Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
