"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
