Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
