Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
