i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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