i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
