Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
