All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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