Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
