How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
