Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
