butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are two peas in an std pod
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
